I think everyone goes for their own reasons and interests and it allows them to explore what they are wanting from the club from voyeurism to swapping etc.
I think superficially everyone will say they where nervous etc but struggle to really explain their feelings that they got out of it as everyone’s interests and pursuits are different.
It’s like someone saying my night was awesome as I got covered in marmite and got spanked while singing the American national anthem. Totally awesome for them being in to that scene but people may view it as strange 😅
The best thing you can do as you said is turn up early on the evening and get the tour etc the staff are very friendly as are the people.
Also decide what you both want from the evening before you go and then make sure that you both stay on the same page through the evening and both stay happy and comfortable in what you are doing. There is no pressure to play other than people asking occasionally.
